In the article written by Nicholas Balakar "Imitation Of Film: Here's Smoking at You Kid" he discuss about the fact of R-rated movies with smoking children, and that they tend to pick up smoking at the ages of 10-14 if seen in movies.
I disagree with this statement because kids age 10-14 smoke on there own term, by seeing there parents are friends doing it, it has nothing to do with the actors or actress on movies, because the kids know that the celebrity are regular people and that all there doing is acting and they might not even smoke on a regular basic. for instance kids are pressured everyday to do things that they may not always want to do and with that is why most kids are where there at now, by listening to bad influence. i for one can relate, as a child growing up, i would wanna do what everyone else was doing than rather than be my own self, for example i had got my belly button piercing at age 17 because mostly everyone i knew had it done.from beyonce to regular kids in my neighborhood, so i went and got it done thinking that it will change me and that ill be more like beyonce, but it didn't change i was still the same old person from before i just had something on my navel, the reason i went and got it done is because i basically wanted to fit in with everyone else rather than stand out and be my own person.
Furthermore the author did point out that some kids have been smoking from far before watching R-rated movies, so that must mean that movies star in r-rated movie did not give them the impact on whether to smoke or not, they chose there own destiny to do it.
however as a child while watching r-rated movie that did not give me an impact to do anything because i knew it was fiction. In my opinion R-rated movie does not give kids the okay to smoke or do anything that is false or wrong. it is the kids who do so are the people they are around.
Hello. I am a student in Dr. J’s class and I was asked to give you feedback on your revision of the CAT.First of all, I think your claim/thesis is very clear but you don't write summary about the acticle. Next, your reasons are hard to understand. For example, second paragraph that there are two because which one is your reason? Also, your evidence was solid but general. And you haven't conclusion, after your two reason!your evidence was solid but general, Finally I would like you to know the whole was a bit hard to read because there are haven't summary and conclusion.
ReplyDeleteHello. I am a student in Dr. X’s class and I was asked to give you feedback on what you have done in the CAT. First of all, I think your claim is somewhat confusing because you went directly on a explanation. I cannot tell if there is a thesis because the introduction is combined to the body. Next, your reasons are connected to your claim because you said that kids learn on their own. However you had evidences that your piercing doesn’t come from movies…so from peers. Lastly, I would like you to know that the whole was confusing because there were no orders that look like a CAT.
ReplyDeleteHi, I am a student in Dr. J’s class and I was asked to give you feedback on your revision of the CAT.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, the summary you have wrote you didn’t followed the structure. Your summary was too short!!
And also I think your thesis/clam is somewhat very hard to understand because in the beginning you said you disagree with author and you believe children are not addicted by film. Anyway, I am disagreeing with what you just said. Because I believe media has very harmful effect on children’s mind as well as their life. In your article you wrote a big sentence that don’t even make any sense. Such as “i for one can relate, as a child growing up, i would wanna do what everyone else was doing than rather than be my own self, for example i had got my belly button piercing at age 17 because mostly everyone i knew had it done”. I have no idea what even you are trying to say”!!
Next, your reasons are hard to understand, and I have found so many spelling mistakes. However, all over your essay I have found what you agree or disagree with author.
Lastly, I would like you to say, try to write your essay in your own word and use your personal experience as much as you can. However I couldn’t find any personal example on your essay. Also try to work on your grammar and work on how to make sentence.
Mmmm. I agree with a few things that the readers have said. One: the summary is on the short side. Two: you have a claim, but you disprove it by saying you wanted to look more like Beyonce--isn't that the point of Balakar's piece--that kids want to imitate stars?
ReplyDelete